Today, when driving back home from church, I saw an advertisement from a real estate company that said, "Life is good when everything is prime." This is the happiness the world offers. Most of us feel happy when a new month starts. We go to church, give our tithe, and feel content with our earnings. When we are full, have we thought about how some have less or even none while we have plenty?
This morning, I went to church not with a joyful heart, but a heavy one. The fortunate beginning I mentioned earlier was not the case for us this month. With so many needs to be met, I was in the presence of God, trying to sing, but only tears rolled down. The worship songs were filled with beautiful verses about how God thinks great things of us. I literally broke when I heard the song "Yakkobennum Sirupoochchiye." The words went like this: "உனது முகம் இனி வெட்கம் ஆவதில்லை. உனது முகம் இனி செத்து போவதில்லை, நீ என்னால் என்றும் மறக்கபடுவதில்லை" I could not look up; I sang with my face covered in tears. Throughout the worship, God sent verses to cheer me up. One song went, "கொஞ்சத்தை நினைத்து குழம்பாதே. கொடுப்பவர் உண்டு கொண்டாடு." When the man of God delivered his message, I noted everything down. God was adding strength to my inner being.
At the end, when the pastor asked who wanted to accept Jesus, an old man sitting in front of me stood up. Following the prayer, we all sat down. The man next to me couldn't stop telling what God had done for him. With a voice breaking, he said that doctors had told him he would die after an operation last week, but he was alive because of Jesus. That struck me deeply. I was afraid of what lay ahead and worried, but God is so generous that He gave this man back his life. The man's voice was full of thankfulness, and he shed happy tears. I understood then that I worry about future when God can save and be generous in saving me from everything. I went into church with many questions about my future but came out touched by His generous love, which is the essence of our faith. I learned not to worry but to be thankful even when I feel I have nothing much. I had failed to understand His generous love in protecting me from harm and disease. He is always faithful. It's about trusting Him during trials.
In the afternoon, I visited my friend Rebecca Jeyani, who has dedicated her life to God and serves Him wholeheartedly. She said, "Anita, do not worry about anything. God has given you faith; just praise Him for who He is. Try this every morning. It works." When I left her, I was joyful. The situation hadn't changed, but I didn't let it take my joy away. I have a God who has given me life to live, and I am breathing fresh air. He who protects my life is able to take care of everything else.
Some may find this particular blog of mine being emotional. I once heard a pastor say, "Christianity is not about feeling; it is about thinking." Thinking, believing, and understanding are good, but be yourself in His presence. Pour your heart out to Him if you cannot be joyful through your trials. Don't fake it; He surely understands. If you want to cry, do it. He will help you grow in your inner being. And it is completely fine to be yourself in His presence. When we see the psalmist we can see him sharing everything he go through to God. He is a man who is like us in every way. He relied on God for all support including his emotional need. At times when I read psalms in Good news Bible I have felt like David is sitting near me and talking about what he feels, struggles, what he thinks to God!
The Holy Spirit helped Paul and Silas sing in prison and be thankful while under arrest. The same God who made them sing in the middle of bondage will help us sing. The same God who broke their bondage will give us a breakthrough too. Paul says the following challenging verse too which is in Philippians 4, "I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength".
Acts 16 verses 24,25,26 says,..(the soldiers) thrust them into the inner prison, and made their feet fast in the stocks. And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them. And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed.
In faith I say that, we will be seeing God opening the doors before us. Let us praise God in the midst of everything. God is faithful as He has always been in breaking through the strongholds for us. But are we faithful to thank the One who has held our life together until this day?
Dear God, thank you for your love. May we always trust you with our all. We know that you care about everything in our lives. In Jesus name we thank you for protecting us and guiding us. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
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