"A real friend sticks closer than a brother”. (Proverbs18-24)
One might be familiar with the seven dwarfs of Snow White or the seven hills of Rome. Likewise, one of the most beautiful part of my college life was me being a part of this 'gang of seven friends'. “The Super Seven” as I lovingly call the gang. We became friends gradually in the second semester. Friendship doesn’t require the same character traits to be present in the friends for them to be together. All seven of us were unique in one way or the other. We all differed from each other, yet we bonded and gelled so well.
Let me here introduce, "The Super Seven".
Here comes Tall Elsie, she was the most generous hearted girl one will ever see, she had this gift of giving. She stayed in the YWCA hostel, Madurai who always expressed her love through giving. She herself came from a family of three girls, the trio sisters. She extended her sisterly care to us, which she probably learnt early on in her family.
As an inside hostler, I was not allowed to go out for shopping often, but here my friend Else did all shopping for me whenever I needed something. Mostly I will be in need of stationary, bakery and xerox(photocopy) work to be done from outside. Our favorite stationary shop in Narimedu was the one which was opposite to Kendriya Vidyalaya School. It was a shop run by an old man and his son, it was a very small shop yet it had everything a student needed and they were very loyal people. I call the store owner very loyal because, once I was very tired from travel from Tenkasi, and forgetfully left my laptop bag in the store and crossed the road to leave. The old man immediately sent his staff who came running across the road with my laptop bag, Phew! Another time, I left the entire package filled with the items that I had just purchased and left. The poor girl came running again to promptly deliver the goods to me. I was then a bit absent minded, I guess. Next to the stationary shop there was Mutty's bakery where Elsie often bought hot chicken puff for me.
Next is our dear Reshma who had a similar background like mine, she was a single child who loved her parents dearly. Once a professor named Felcia asked the whole class a question before the start of a poetry class, “How many of you are ready to go to heaven if God appears now?”, most of the class raised our hands. To our surprise Resh didn’t raise hers. When the Professor asked for the reason she said, “She cannot leave her parents alone and go with God”. Such innocent love she had for her parents which always amazed me. Her beautiful handwriting was another speciality of her. At times, I have asked her to write my name on the front page of my note. Her handwriting script looked like musical notes.
Then comes Suganya whom I always call as “ganya”. She was the most outgoing, extroverted personality among all seven of us. She had this power to light up the atmosphere with her presence. Her animated talk was one of her special features. She became very close with my parents and even visited my house which was unforgettable. She bought a lovely blue coloured umbrella made out of satin like cloth for my mom, and many cute miniature gifts for me, one was a glass paper weight with the picture of Jesus and another was a cute little princess in pink gown. Later Suganya pursued Master of Social Work Studies as it suited her personality.
Next is Nivetha who was looking very homely, and she was a very responsible person. She had good advice for everyone, especially the juniors who reached out to her. She was calm, poised and moved with so much elegance. Her ethnic choices of dressing were totally adorable. She hailed from the notable place in Madurai, which is known for Jallikattu. If you jog your memory, in 2017, Alanganallur became the epicentre of the "Jallikattu Protests" held at Marina Beach by the student community, which came close on the heels of the untimely and mysterious
death of our former Chief Minister Dr. J. Jayalalithaa in 2016 at the Apollo Hospitals in Greams Road. Nivetha was quite the opposite to the Alanganallur Jallikattu spirit, she was a gentle, composed demeanour which exuded equanimity.
The other friend was our cute Prahi who looked cute in every outfit with her chubby cheeks and short curly hair. She stayed in the college hostel and all of us had long talks at her room. She was so adorable. She often wore cute skirts and girly tops. She was a very good dancer.
Those days the popular clothing options were Patiala Pants, frill skirts, crush pants. T-shirts were a rage too. Near LDC, there was a street, where Tiruppur T-shirts were sold at nice affordable prices, they were very modern and trendy. Leggings were just making their inroads into women's attire those days.
The only day when all of us accompanied Prahi with her type of outfit was on the "Sports Day", when we did Aerobics wearing white skirts and pink t-shirts. The song was "Alekka, Alekka, Alekka, Ale Ale Lekka" (a popular cine number of Tamil Nadu). It was a mash-up and medley of songs where we danced with coloured balls and other props. One highlight of the Aerobics was we formed the shape of Olympic rings, where each ring represents the five continents of the world, signifying the Olympic motto “Citius, Altius, Fortius” (“Faster, Higher, Stronger”). Finally, we all gave a big shout and filled the sky with lots and lots of Helium filled balloons. It was a fantastic sight to behold.
Little later, the sports star of the college joined our gang of friends. It was none other than Janu Surendran, a basketball player, a fun-loving, cool personality, who did all mischiefs yet topped the class, with her wonderful learning and writing skills. She wore a forehead band like the world-famous professional tennis player Roger Federer, (he was one of my favourite sports stars, known for his elegance and grace in his tennis moves). Janu's exclusive style gave her a unique look in the sports department. She later became one of the officers in the student cabinet.
And finally, myself Anitha Jebarani was one among them thriving in this group of lovely people. They were my tribe, my clan, my kith and kin. I was a sister to them from another mother.
We were together most of the time. Be it class, canteen, library, lunch pavilion or the open-air theatre etc. We were together through all the challenges in our U.G days. Like all friends, we had our ups and downs, but we stayed beside each other and never left anyone to wage their battle alone. We were there to help each other, comfort each other and lift each other up. Any pulling of the leg was only momentary and never mean-spirited.
There came a time when we were needed to choose an elective subject in the third semester. All of us were standing in a line towards the computer that was in the department library. We were standing in the end. The registration for the elective was going on in all departments at the same time. The best courses were filling up as all students were choosing very fast. Here we three- Reshma, Nivetha and I were standing and waiting to choose the course which we should study for the next six months. The problem was, we should choose subjects from other departments of which we knew nothing about. I was a bit scared that I might unknowingly end up in a tough subject. The decision not to score less anymore in my studies after my 786 mess up in 12th only added to the pressure. To our shock many known elective options that we had in our minds, had vanished from the list of choices when we finally reached near the registration counter.
A CHALLENGE OR LESSON FOR LIFE?
Before me was standing my dear wise friend Reshma, I have always trusted her judgements. She saw the options and chose MENTAL HEALTH as the elective option and whispered to us the name of the subject. Thus, dear Nivetha and I chose to join the same course. After finishing the registration, I directly went to the chapel and opened my heart to God. I told God that, “I had no other way but to go for this subject, yet I prayed before I came for this registration, so I need your strength to do this”. Tears rolled down my eyes with fear when I said this prayer. But I never knew that the course was a gift from God. It was one of the most wonderful subjects I have ever learned. One of the truths I have learned in life is, sometimes God pushes or makes us to go for unknown choices, which we might dread or fear, but for those who love God everything happens as planned for good by God the father, who only gives good gifts to us His children.
WHAT MATTERS? - YOUR MIND
We learned so much about the human mind from that course. The subject was handled by Dr. Synthia Mary Mathew, an excellent psychology professor. The Professor stunned me with her proficiency in the subject “Psychology”. We were totally glued to her lectures, especially whenever she talked about the practical application of psychology in life. Also when she taught us about any psychological disorder in the class, all of us in the class vicariously felt as if we had experienced it (that was one tricky part of learning about our mind).
The introduction class went like this, my professor said, “Imagine you are on a journey by walk, and on the way, you meet people. One after another, they give you a stone to carry in your bag, you keep all the stones that are given to you. You are walking with that heavy bag for 50m, then 100m, then 150m, and next you begin to stumble... she gave a pause and asked, what will be the next stage?. I said a bit loudly "exhaustion". She said, "Exactly! you are following me Anita, one will be exhausted with the burden one carries and will finally fall down...”.
She continued, ”This is what happens in life. We meet many people and many situations which can increase our burden in our mind, if we keep all the burden with us throughout the journey. At one point we will be exhausted and that is when one has mental illness. She said, "Mental illness can happen to anyone”. That is why one should learn how to reduce the burden away from time to time. Find a good friend, or neighbour to share the part of your mind which burdens you, in doing so you remain sane. She changed our perspective towards mental illness and mentally ill people that they were not somebody to be bordered from the society.
My dad was someone who always had this mentality or approach towards the mentally ill people on streets. He used to talk with them, some actually responded to his talk and he used to buy them some food or tea. l used to be amazed at him whenever he talks to them like a friend. I remember a person named kumar who was mentally ill and used to roam in the streets of our colony. People used to be sacred and walk away from him. But my dad used to call him by name and treated him very kindly always. There was this another person named Rasukutty who was slightly ill when it comes to his mental health and my dad helped him to find odd jobs and even provided food and shelter at our home for some months.
Later in my P.G. days, I joined with a friend named Divya and attended the logo designing competition which was conducted by the Social Science department for world mental health day which falls on oct 10. Usually the every year the social science department celebrated the day by conducting many competitions before that day, By oct 10 they will conduct a meeting at the Golden jubilee auditorium, where they will make an expert on psychology to give a lecture and then display few stage plays , mime to create awareness on the mental Heath day. finally they will distribute prizes for the winners who won in the competition. They had this excellent way of spreading the awareness to the whole college by giving us printed cards which looked like bookmarks where there will be tips maintain a healthy mind, which I have kept very safely in my bible.
One time they gave us all beautiful badges which the whole college wore to spread the awareness. We won third prize for our logo In the logo designing competition. The caption of our logo was used in the banner, stage and at the end of the student's skit. They also did “thappattam” which is well known Tamil traditional dance, I have heard from my social science department friends that they will enact plays with that dance in the village streets to create awareness on social issues. I have often seen them practicing it in the open air theatre. Recently Cynthia, a social science department student of LDC is rocking Tamil Christian world with her song “palaivanamaai” . She uses that dance in her song video.
My logo was printed on the bookmark too. Students from social science department held their hands together and said it loudly. It is "Defeat Depression and heal the world".
Yes, we have learned a great lesson that our mind belongs to us and stays with us till the end of our lives. Hurting our mind with unnecessary overthinking will harm it, which will ultimately destroy us. On the other side it will do wonders when you feed it with healthy, refreshing thoughts. For that, you might at times need to change your perspective of looking at things. Avoid anxious thoughts and filling mind with positive thoughts is healthy. Yeah, mind matters!
In our final year, all seven of us joined and enacted a fairy tale called, “Hansel and Gretel” in French department's competition. I played the role of evil stepmother, Hansel and Gretel was played by lovely Ganya and cute Prahi. We got ready with our make ups in the gym room at Sir James Doak Hall. All seven were there waiting for the result. They announced third prize it was not us, they announced second prize, it was not us. They announced the winners. Nothing entered my ears but only the shout of my friends. Hurray, we were the winners!! Our team effort paid off.
There was this Asst.Professor named Ms.Lalitha who always adored, "The super seven”, saying that we remind her of her college friends!. Once she treated us at canteen to some nice treats. Unfortunately, I missed the treat.
“We weren’t sisters by birth, but we knew from the start…fate brought us together to be sisters by heart.” — Unknown
Yes, I believe this relationship is much more than mere friendship. We are sisters by heart.
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